This blog is Najwa’s personal writing, recommendations, analysis, trope discussions, opinions, stories, reviews on books, music, TV shows and movies.

Saturday, 25 May 2024

Humanity

The weary clock tower struck, with a shrill chime that clambered through the labyrinths and haunted the laboratories. He awoke with a slight gasp, eyes widening and his chest heaving with every indulging breath, with a trepidation that had him clutching the lavish seat. The gleam admist the lanterns pertubed him, his lashes fluttering rapidly, struggling to ease his breaths. The impalpable ticking of a timepiece measured his regained recovery, an unwelcome reminder of reality. As his vision cleared, he yearned to return within the endless depths of his pedestrian mind again. The train reeked of expectation, with the mere hundred souls that wandered its dormant anatomy, with intimacy dispensed for glory and triumph, each to their own narrow perspective. Past tales of endearment and passion seemed like disintegrated memories. 

The man seemed to be the only slumbering being, with not a murmur nor a flinch recurring around. It astounded the neighbouring occupants, their muscles tightening, eyes glowering towards him and youth were shielded. An unsettling stranger diverted his attention, staring so blatantly. It mirrored his own reflection, one he was desperate to disguise and did not aid in deterring the many pairs of eyes that lingered. His face contorted with worry, his forehead creasing and his nerving knack to scratch his arms arised again. Red marks became starkly prominent as the stranger seemed to intensify his stare. He wished for it all to just stop. 

The train slowed to another gradual halt, the wheels hitting the track silently. In the many decades of the new era, it had never malfunctioned nor failed them, not dissimilar to any other new contraption. Those that boarded the shared transportation had large thick briefcases and faded polo shirts, with shoes especially shined. They were particularly on the cusp of death wasting their squandered existence, death being an inevitable surrender so feared like failure, with their anguished eyes and quiet resolution. It was not an affair to be associated with as those that strided through the station barely made a sound. The stranger bent his finger towards the widening doors, forcing the man to have no choice but to glance outside.

The first click of a gun reverberated through the walls and the mass of those that they feared most deeply, crowded the archway of the dimly lit station, visible past the widened gap. These uniformed soldiers loitered the few and far mass transportation stations, with much success. The sky lit a pale glow and if not for the visual, it would remain a mystery whether they hit their mark or not, with not a scream nor a cry could be discerned. The shadow of a faceless man slumped to the ground, with whatever belongings he was clutching hitting the ground with a soft thud that seemed like a roar. Those that vacated the general vicinity barely blinked, but their eyes wandered away. The man flinched slightly and sunk low into his seat, praying to success that not a pair of eyes had caught him. Afraid that his languishing existence could lead him to a similar fate of the man that was just murdered, his perception heightened, fidgeting. Through the closing crack, the body lay on the stairs, with those rushing to get to the train brushing past him, marching away into the distance.

The doors closed, intending to leave for their next destination, but not before a piercing yell echoed within the station. It was the regimented troops, forcing their way in. The stranger’s other hand climbed out of his cashmere coat and gripped his bag lightly. The glint of gold prompted the man to visibly straighten and bury his hands beneath his briefcase, clasping it more tightly. These enforcers of law marched in, with their weapons drawn, individuals victim to their blazing, daggered glances. Instinct overwhelmed sanity, gripping their plaques and badges, certificates of declaraton signalling their superiority to those that sat next to them, a regretful but necessary occurrence. They were imperative shields, repelling these troops as they were abiding with the laws. These trophies gestured their contributions to advancing society.

Concluding their search, they glared at the stranger and the man, raising their eyebrows with their palms facing upwards. Waiting. The man’s heart seemed to race even faster, with his white-knuckle dying grip grasping his briefcase, afraid. Deliberating, he reached to unclasp it, but his hesitation had cost him dearly. In a haste, the nearest soldier grabbed him by the shoulders, pining him to the wall, clawing at him, searching. The man crossed every digit he could, praying to the ancient gods, spouting off lies for if only he could live for another day. His briefcase was knocked to the ground in the altercation, and they scoured it as well. Pages that endowed no value were carelessly chucked to the ground, pens and pockets grabbed.

No signs of records, or plaques, or badges, No certificates of any contribution bequeathed to society. The man was exposed, laid bare and dissected to the keepers who would eradicate the average. He glimpsed the flagrant stares that made him seem like a circus animal and those that caressed their trophies with considerable more care. He knew what was to occur. Had seen it and feared it for so long. There was no justification, only his own brain to blame. But the man feared death itself, and fought it, struggling against the enforcer, powered by the looming terror, with a stake at heart. It was no use though, and the familiar gun aimed, his chest beating erratically. Death was nearing. He was desperate, and the glint of gold caught his eye again. The stranger was observing with bored interest, his medal hanging from the bag knocked carelessly to the side. Summoning all the man’s courage, he veered to the left and seized it.

“He is worse than an average being, he is a rare thief! He snatched my hard work away,” he cried, shaking in a performance of disbelief whilst clinging to the cold metal.

Without any hesitation, the troops aimed their guns at the stranger, who flinched in alarm. Murmurs began to ripple throughout the carriage and the stranger raised his arms in defence, a grave error. He had shielded his physical entity but had not defended his greatest shield, his brain. The muffled gun clicked again, and the stranger was gone, slumped to his seat. The splatter of blood mingled with the burgundy fabric and echoed throughout the train. Satisfied with a fulfilled errand, they passed the man again, clinging to the medal, as the train slowed to another stop, and they departed.

The man stared at the corpse, alone. The train was empty, with the individuals eager to escape the body and the man accused of an alarming crime, enabling him to grab the rest of the stranger’s trophies, shoving it quickly down his briefcase, along with his other belongings. He stripped him of his identity, with only the clothes left on his back. Any rising feelings of regret or sadness were swiftly buried, commonly surpressed with the repetitiveness of the several occasions he had committed this sin.

He was, after all, just a man.

Saturday, 20 April 2024

Taylor Swift's new album TTPD is here!

So Taylor Swift just dropped her album, The Tortured Poets Department (TTPD) and of course, I was waiting for it and so excited to hear it. I listened to it all in order, as soon as it dropped and I need a few business days to process the Tortured Poets Department. Not even days. Weeks. 

I did have an initial ranking I did, which will certainly change as I listen and some songs probably went over my head. I won't tell you what it is but a few favourites I had that probably won't change are: My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys, So Long London, So High School and thanK you aIMee, will probably remain top ten, maybe top five. 

I went to the shops for a while after I had listened to TTPD twice and when I came back, I was shocked to discover that it was a DOUBLE DROP and screamed so loud, my mother thought I fell. I did have my suspicions with the hints she was giving on social media such as the emojis in the captions of her posts but I didn't actually believe it. Also FIFTEEN MORE SONGS? The mastermind was writing. 

I like Fortnight (ft Post Malone) but I'm scared I might not when the music video comes out and it'll feel like a single and might get overplayed, like Anti Hero. I have to say, from my first initial reaction, it automatically went top two in my album rankings. It definitely suited my taste of music and any songs that I liked, not loved, Taylor immediately swooped in with the bridge that it was so hard to do a rough rank. And it felt so personal and she was so angry and then sad. 

I am also knee deep in a school assessment and keeping up with Formula 1. I have been sucked into the sport, I fear. I was relistening to TTPD, while texting my Swiftie GC, while watching Sprint Quali, which by the way was a rollercoaster with Lando getting pole, not getting pole and then getting pole again and trying to read the lyrics for TTPD because I just discovered they were on Genius so that is basically my life right now.

Thanks for reading!

P.S. Everyone affected by any of the recent events in Sydney, I see you and hear you and I hope that Australia can get through this calmly and peacefully.

Thursday, 28 March 2024

Monthly Update; tips on studying

The month of March is nearly over and I am still suffering from post-concert depression. I've been distracted though, what with studying taking up most of my free time outside of school. It has been a bit of a cooldown, without any major events or milestones but I thought I'd update you on the month anyways. 

I started fasting, which is a Muslim practise to abstain from eating or drinking from dusk until dawn. It means I have to wake up much earlier to eat and then, I can not consume any food or drink until a specific time in the evening. Although it can be quite weary and drains a lot of energy from your body, I actually managed to find some silver lining. By waking up earlier, I decided to not go back to sleep again and instead study until I had to start getting ready for school. This actually helped me greatly and I managed to get on top of a lot of homework which freed up more time in the afternoons. It also helps me save a lot of money, as most of my weekly allowance won't go towards my school canteen. But it is not without its difficulties. I had to do some of my exams during this fasting period, which obviously had some impact on my brain and what I could achieve. But it has been a somewhat smoothful fasting and I hope that everyone who is currently participating in the month of Ramadan has a peaceful and easy time. 

Speaking of studying, when I say the workload is crazy, it is crazy. I have work from every single class I have to complete, whether that is just catching up, doing some homework, getting ahead of classes just to lessen the load and starting to complete assessments. If I had to offer advice to anyone currently struggling is:

Always place your assessment information into one folder or one place. At the start, I set a time of when I would start my tasks but I always lost a good ten minutes trying to find the information. It is always helpful to know where your most important pieces of information is. My teachers reminded us countless times to not lose them so put them in a safe place right now!

Know your style of studying. I was never the kid who could start assessments the day before and get an A. I would always start a large chunk of it as soon as I got it and then finish it at least a day before it was due. It left a lot of time for procrastination but I always managed to hand in a good result. 

Set boundaries. Everyone is distracted by the phone and I am too, a lot of the time. Teenagers are also lazy so I always placed my phone on the opposite side of the room because I knew I wouldn't want to get up to go get it. I also gave myself half an hour of uninterrupted time to just go on social media. Whether I was in the middle of a paragraph or a worksheet, that time would always be for my phone. It allowed my brain to rest for a bit before I could get back into it. This is extremely helpful but when its time to get off your phone, you need to get off! I wouldn't start playing any games or striking up a conversation. I would reply to some friends and even if I was scrolling on social media, I would allow myself one more post, or TikTok and then turn my phone completely off. 

Get on top of flashcards right now! I was planning to write mine all term and I thought, its fine, I still have time. I do not have time. School holidays, I am doing my flashcards immediately. So if I could tell my younger self anything, start utilising flashcards before this year.

I hope some of the tips I gave you on studying help and that you enjoyed some insight into my March. I'll be back next month for another update.

Happy reading :)

Thursday, 29 February 2024

Taylor Swift Eras Tour Sydney

Where do I even begin? I have been a fan of Taylor Swift since reputation and when she announced she was coming to Australia, I was ecstatic. I managed to survive the Great War in the first general sale in June. I was really lucky and I was so grateful that I managed to get two tickets, one for me and one for my mum. She played four back to back shows, from Friday to Monday, and I got the best day, which was the second night, Saturday, at Accor Stadium in Sydney (it was also the first one to be sold out). I can not believe I got to go to the Eras Tour, dressed in the Lover Era and my mum was dressed in the Red Era.

Sydney Olympic Park was really ready for Taylor's arrival and everywhere you went, you could either see some swifties or some posters of tay herself. I forced my parents to arrive really early because I knew the place would get packed really fast. My dad dropped us off and we immediately got in line for merch. It took us a solid hour to just get to the front and they had already sold out of many small sizes. I ended up getting the navy crewneck in a size M (because they had run out of size S). Because we had a lot of time to kill, me and my mum hopped into another merch line and had to wait ANOTHER hour before we made it to the front. This time, they had more size S's and I got the white tour t shirt. 

We had about two hours before doors opened so we found a shady spot and ate some lunch. Coincidentally, Blink 182 also had a show in the arena next to us (Qudos Bank Arena) and I knew my best friend was watching the show so I actually met up with her as she got her merch (spoiler: it did not take her an hour). We also heard the opening act, Sabrina Carpenter soundchecking Feather! 

When the doors opened, we found our seats and I was actually surprised how close we were. I managed to get C Reserve so we were in the stands but we were Row 19 so it wasn't that bad. Then Sabrina started her performance and I love her. There was only a handful of girls standing, I was one of them and the outro was killer, iykyk. 

Then of course, after another wait, the countdown came on and then when Taylor came on, I was screaming so loud. I remember every detail of the past shows I have been to but I kid you not, I really have to focus hard to remember that night. I would film the start and the bridges of songs (while singing) and then turn my phone off in the middle so I could just sing and be in the moment.

My surprise songs were: Should've Said No x You're Not Sorry (guitar) and New Years Day x Peace (piano) and when she started to mash up Peace with New Years Day, I felt my soul LEAVE MY BODY. I can't even begin to express how much those two songs killed me and I'm glad she finally got to hear all the Aussie says 'naur'. 

This is a video of New Years Day x Peace and if you listen closely, you can hear me losing it:


I can't even rate this experience. You just have to know, it was the coolest one ever and I'll probably remember it forever. I only got about 90% of my voice back TODAY.

To everyone who went, I hope you all had a nice nap and the post concert depression doesn't hit that hard for you after.

Saturday, 20 January 2024

A rant from a writer

Hello,

I thought I would come on here to give you some exclusive looks on how my book is going. I'm nearly at the finish line but I haven't hammered down a release date yet as I haven't sorted out the next stages after the editing progress but we are getting very close on my end :) 

To describe what my days have been lately, I've been working in the mornings, trying to aim for 1000 words everyday (writers count in words not pages). The skeleton of the book is complete and I've been focusing on ironing the details, making sure there are no plot holes, which is why there is a lower word count. I work for a solid three hours before I have lunch and the majority of the word count would have been completed in this time. In the afternoons, I either continue to edit (while watching a few shows because I am also a teenager guys) or if I've done a considerable amount of work in the week, I just clock off entirely. Sometimes I do pick it back up in the night. I've learnt that I gain the most inspiration at night and my words always flow the best so its a great way to end the day. 

Writer's block is a big issue that a lot of people face and it has been an obstacle for me. On days where I feel that I'm not flowing as well, I will do 20 minutes of solid work and then 5 minutes of just scrolling through my phone. Its a nice reward and when I start to write, I always feel more refreshed and it just works better. This doesn't mean you get to spend however many hours you want on your phone, I only stick to five just to stop my brain concentrating so much. Or I just grab a snack. I would read a book, except that I know I wouldn't want to stop reading and then I wouldn't write. If my mind is in a better place then I'll keep writing but if I'm continuing to struggle, its nice to take a longer break. The world won't end if you don't get your daily word goal, it just means you work harder the next few days. But I would like any writer to know that everyone goes through writer's block and it really helps to just take a break and think about something else. You might get inspiration from someplace else!

Speaking of shows, I've really been getting into Drive To Survive on Netflix and I've gone into an F1 deep dive. I definitely recommend the show, just be aware that a lot of the rivalries they try to portray aren't all true and you should go watch interviews of them on YouTube and I assure you there is NO tension whatsoever between the drivers. And I've learnt the rules very quickly but don't ask me to list every world champion because I'm not that deep into it.

I was trying to give you insight on my day but that did turn into a rant. If you did make it to the end, thanks for reading and be on the lookout as I post more updates!